Six Months

This past Monday was the six month anniversary of the day I walked into the emergency room at Virginia Hospital Center with pain in my abdomen and a lump in my neck.  I found out almost immediately that I had cancer, but it took almost two weeks for the doctors to diagnose me with stage IV stomach cancer.  Since then, our lives have been turned upside down.

My doctor never game me a prognosis, and quite frankly, I never asked for one.  I didn't want to know.  I did know that there is no "cure" for stage IV stomach cancer.  The consensus from all of the doctors I saw was that I would be on chemotherapy for the rest of my life, I just didn't know how long they thought that would be.  Adam knew but didn't tell me.  The latest statistics for my diagnosis indicate a 15% survival rate at six months and a 4% survival rate at five years.  I am happy I beat the odds for six months, and I am confident I will make it to five years, but it's sometimes scary to think about how powerful this type of cancer can be.  In November, my oncologist told me that if I had asked him in July if I would be doing as well as I was, he would have said the chances were slim.  I am so thankful I responded so well to the initial chemotherapy.

It is strange to think about the past six months.  I think for a lot of that time I have felt like my life has been on pause and I'm waiting for it to start again.  Sometimes I still feel that way and probably will for a while.  It's hard to make plans when you don't know what the next weeks or months will look like.  It's not that I haven't been able to do things while going through treatment.  I made it to three weddings, four football games, and several dinners and celebrations with friends and family.  I was lucky enough to respond well to the first line therapy to enable to live somewhat normally.  But a lot of my time is spent in treatment, dealing with the side effects of treatment, and meeting with doctors.  Adam has spent a lot of time taking care of me, doing research on treatment options, making appointments with specialists, and finding ways to try and make me better.  It makes me sad to think about what this has done to his life and to our plans for the future.  Even so, for now we are looking forward to making progress in the next six months and taking steps to eventually be cancer-free.