Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Finding support - online


We spent 3 days thinking that Meg had breast cancer.  During that time, I started thinking about the new community that she was going to become a part of – or, I guess, that we were going to become a part of.  You see so many advertisements for breast cancer foundations, awareness events, and fundraising campaigns.  I glanced through some of the materials they gave us at the oncology office, and it seemed like there were three types of support groups – breast cancer, prostate cancer, and then everything else.  As tough as that weekend was, the fact that she probably had breast cancer did provide me with some small level of relief – at least this was something common that they know a lot about, and that so many other survivors had beaten.

Obviously, it turned out not to be breast cancer.  When they said gastric cancer, I didn’t really know where to turn.  I searched around on the internet, and found a few forums, but they were sparsely populated.  People would post questions, and responses took weeks or months to trickle in.  I found a few blogs, and while they provided me with some information, they didn’t really provide the opportunity for support or interaction.  A neighbor recommended a local facility called “Life With Cancer”, but again, they didn’t have anything specifically for gastric cancer.   It seemed impossible to find other people fighting the same battle.

About two months after Meg’s diagnosis, I was back on those same forums, looking for more info.  Now that I understood a little more about the lingo and the treatments, I dug a little further through the postings.  On the 5th or 6th page of one topic, someone commented that there was a facebook group for stomach cancer.  But it was a private group, so it could be tough to find if you didn’t know the exact name of it.  It’s called “Stomach Cancer Warriors and Caregiver Family.”  You have to request to be added, and then one of the admins will give you access and ask you to explain why you joined.  I believe the group was started in 2011, or early 2012.  When I joined there were around 100 people, now there are over 250. 

There is a lot of information there.  You can browse way back and see the journey of other patients.  What treatment they got, what kind of side effects they had, how they responded.  You can do a search for your treatment and read some conversations that people have had about it. (Although, for some reason, tonight the search function is only going back two months, which is leaving out a lot of information.  I’m hoping this is a temporary bug.) You can find out what kind of trials other people are on.  You can learn what some of the newest drugs are.  You can hear unfiltered opinions about people’s experiences at certain hospitals, or with particular doctors.  You can ask questions about anything and get responses from several people within a few hours.  You can talk to some long-term survivors.  You can find others who are in similar situations as you.  You can become part of this community.

But, that is both the upside and the downside.  This community, the stomach cancer community, is not an easy one to be a part of.  In addition to all of the information that is available in the group, there are also all of the struggles and heartbreaks.  Some of the earliest members of the group, the ones who were providing so much information when I joined, are no longer with us.   People go on there to not only share information, but also to share their troubles, and to find support when things are not going well.  I remember one week when it felt like there were 3 or 4 postings about warriors losing their battles. That can be very hard to take when you are trying to maintain hope.

I had told Meg that I had joined a facebook group, and I was relaying some of the information I found.  It was the source of most of the questions I asked our oncologist.  (Which, in the end, he told me were always very relevant, very appropriate questions – the same ones he would’ve been asking in my situation.  So I think this group led me towards the right information.)   But I never told her the name of the group, and she never asked.  Then, in November or December, I came home from work one day, and Meg said that she joined a facebook group called “Stomach Cancer Warriors”, and she asked if that was the one I was in.  My heart sank a little.  I felt like I needed to be in that group, to stay current on the information, but I worried that she would get discouraged by reading what people posted in there.  Like I said, there is no filter.  You take the good with the bad. 

Meg stayed active in the group for about two weeks.  She replied to a few people’s questions and shared some of her experiences.  Then, she told me she couldn’t look at it anymore.  She said people were just too negative.  Meg tried so hard to maintain a positive attitude, and exposing herself to negativity was not going to help. 

In a previous post, I recommended contacting a stomach cancer organization like Debbie’s Dream Foundation as soon as possible after receiving a diagnosis.  They will tell you the most important things that you need to know and the questions you should be asking your doctors.  Because of everything I just mentioned, I’m not sure if I’d recommended joining the facebook group right away.   But, if you can handle the reality of the situation (which I think you need to do at some point), and want to have a place to share and find information and support, then I think it’s a good community to join.  However, I do think it’s more appropriate for caregivers instead of patients (at least not stage 4 patients in the middle of their first line of treatment).  It was a great resource for me, and it allowed me to find other people who were going through what we were going through.  Some days, you feel like no one will get it unless they are living it too. 

So maybe there’s a better way to organize this community online.  But for now, this was the best that I found.

(Postscript:  I’m not happy that I’ve been posting so infrequently lately.  But I’ve been working through some stuff that I’m not sure whether or not I want to publicly write about yet.  I think I’m doing better now, hence this post.  Hopefully I’ll get back to writing about once a week.)

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