Discovering I Have Cancer

Many people have asked me how I knew something was wrong and ended up at the emergency room.  So here's the story.

It started on Tuesday, June 19th.  I was sitting at my desk at work and noticed a new dress I had bought the week before was tight around my rib cage/upper abdomen, not someplace you generally gain wait in a week.  I realized my abdomen was swollen and figured I should go see an internist to get it checked out, but I was scheduled to go away on business travel for the rest of the week and was assigned jury duty for Arlington County the following week.

On Wednesday morning, I had a hard time getting out of bed (let's be honest, that's not that unusual for me, but this was worse than normal).  After work, I played in a double header softball game.  I got out of breath after every play and struggled to catch my breath after running the bases.  I thought I was getting really out of shape.  After the game, I cried when I said goodbye to Adam.  Yes, I am an emotional person, but for some reason I really didn't want to go on this trip.  Then I drove to northern New Jersey for a seminar I was giving the next morning. 

On Thursday, I gave my seminar, but got so tired standing in front of the room.  After the seminar, I was driving to Abington, PA for a seminar the following morning and noticed a lump in my neck in the rear view mirror.  I was worried, but thought maybe I was fighting an infection.  When I got to my hotel in Abington, I slept for three hours before dragging myself out of bed to find dinner.  That night, I googled swelling in upper abdomen and swollen lymph nodes.  I made myself worried - the results were sarcoidoisis and lymphoma, among other things.

On Friday, in the parking lot after the seminar, I called and made an appointment with an internist for a week later.  Then I drove the four hours home. When I got home, I didn't want to do anything but lay on the couch.  I had plans to get together with the girls for our monthly wine club, but I cancelled at the last minute. 

On Saturday, Adam and I did yard work.  I was so tired.  I sat on the ground while I pulled weeds.  The swelling in my abdomen seemed to be getting worse and it was painful and hot to the touch.  I don't remember what we did Saturday night.

On Sunday morning, June 24th, I asked Adam to drop me off at the emergency room on his way to church.  He offered to stay with me, but I told him to go to church and come back - I figured I would be waiting a while.

At Virginia Hospital Center, I was taken back into the emergency room really quickly.  I discussed my symptoms with the doctor.  The nurse gave me a nasty tasting cocktail for indigestion.  It didn't help.  The doctor sent me for an ultrasound.  Adam made it back just in time for the doctor to go over the results.  There were spots on my liver causing my liver to be enlarged (thus causing the swelling and pain in my abdomen).  He said it could be a number of things, with the worst case scenario being lymphoma.  I cried.  Adam held my hand and told me it would be ok.  The doctor told me that lymphoma is a curable cancer, and it typically involves just four months of chemotherapy.  They wanted to admit me overnight for more tests.  That day I had two MRIs and a CT.

On Monday, I had a needle biopsy of the lump in my neck.  Doctor after doctor came to my room.  At the end of the day on Monday, Dr. Rodriguez, an oncologist from Virginia Cancer Specialists, came to see me.  She did a physical exam and told me that the best case scenario was that I had lymphoma because that is a curable cancer, but it was likely some other form of cancer, she just didn't know what kind.  It took about two weeks to figure out that I had stomach cancer, but that's another story.

Looking back after my diagnosis, there were signs for months that things weren't right.  At the time, I thought the symptoms were related to stress.  Adam and I had some things we were dealing with at home, and I was working on a big opportunity at work.  I think I will share my thoughts on that later. 

Six Months

This past Monday was the six month anniversary of the day I walked into the emergency room at Virginia Hospital Center with pain in my abdomen and a lump in my neck.  I found out almost immediately that I had cancer, but it took almost two weeks for the doctors to diagnose me with stage IV stomach cancer.  Since then, our lives have been turned upside down.

My doctor never game me a prognosis, and quite frankly, I never asked for one.  I didn't want to know.  I did know that there is no "cure" for stage IV stomach cancer.  The consensus from all of the doctors I saw was that I would be on chemotherapy for the rest of my life, I just didn't know how long they thought that would be.  Adam knew but didn't tell me.  The latest statistics for my diagnosis indicate a 15% survival rate at six months and a 4% survival rate at five years.  I am happy I beat the odds for six months, and I am confident I will make it to five years, but it's sometimes scary to think about how powerful this type of cancer can be.  In November, my oncologist told me that if I had asked him in July if I would be doing as well as I was, he would have said the chances were slim.  I am so thankful I responded so well to the initial chemotherapy.

It is strange to think about the past six months.  I think for a lot of that time I have felt like my life has been on pause and I'm waiting for it to start again.  Sometimes I still feel that way and probably will for a while.  It's hard to make plans when you don't know what the next weeks or months will look like.  It's not that I haven't been able to do things while going through treatment.  I made it to three weddings, four football games, and several dinners and celebrations with friends and family.  I was lucky enough to respond well to the first line therapy to enable to live somewhat normally.  But a lot of my time is spent in treatment, dealing with the side effects of treatment, and meeting with doctors.  Adam has spent a lot of time taking care of me, doing research on treatment options, making appointments with specialists, and finding ways to try and make me better.  It makes me sad to think about what this has done to his life and to our plans for the future.  Even so, for now we are looking forward to making progress in the next six months and taking steps to eventually be cancer-free.