A Hairy Situation

Or not so hairy as the case may be.  As you probably already know, a lot of chemotherapy regimens cause hair loss.  My doctor said I would most certainly lose my hair during treatment with EOX.  And I did.

I knew it was just my hair, and that it would grow back, but losing my hair was still an upsetting and somewhat traumatic experience.  On my mom's birthday, July 24th, almost two weeks after starting treatment, my hair started to fall out.  I remember sitting on the couch, running my fingers through my hair and finding my hands full of hair.  I cried.  It seems silly to think about, but the rational me and the emotional me are often on different pages. 

That evening, Adam took me to the Hair Cuttery, and I cut off my hair.  I cut most of it in a ponytail that I still have in a plastic bag in my closet (which I admit might be a little weird).  Then I told the stylist to cut it short.  I don't think she understood that I had cancer and wanted it cut short (her English was not very good), so I had to keep telling her to cut it shorter and shorter.  I had such long hair before that I think she didn't know what to make of it. 

And here is what I ended up with:

In the next few days, my hair was slowly falling out.  I would find a few on my pillow and lose some in the shower.  And then it seemed to stop falling out!!  So I regretted getting it cut so short - what if I wasn't going to lose it after all?  And then I lost almost all of it in a matter of days starting about August 1st.  By Friday, August 3rd, I had significant bald spots all over my head.  On Saturday morning (the day of Lisa and Matt's wedding), Adam took the shears to my head and cut what was left down to about half an inch.  I continued to lose my hair over the next week or so, using a lint roller to clean it off my pillow, my clothes, the couch, pretty much anywhere I went.  In hindsight, it probably would have been easier to just shave it all off, but I just couldn't bare it at the time.

When I was planning for losing my hair, I bought two wigs (synthetic wigs).  Real hair wigs cost thousands of dollars and I didn't want to spend that much money on what I hoped would be a short-term solution.  I am glad I didn't spend a lot because I ended up not really liking my wigs.  They were uncomfortable, made me self-conscious, and were a pain to work with.  I ended up only wearing my wigs for a few occasions.  I liked the wig more when it was up because the synthetic hair just felt static-y when it was done.  I wore one to Lisa and Matt's wedding, styled by the hair stylist:

And the same one to Whitney and Matt's wedding (styled by me on the styrofoam head they gave me with the wig and then placed on my head):

I wore my wig a handful of other times, but otherwise I was most comfortable in a scarf.  I received several beautiful scarves from family and friends that I wore constantly.  The scarves were much more comfortable.  Sometimes I even forgot I was wearing a scarf and then I would see my reflection in a mirror or window and be reminded.  I would have thought I would be more self-conscious in a scarf, but I realized that no one really cares.  But I definitely got tired of wearing the scarves after a while, too.  I was ready to have my hair back!

As you can probably imagine, I lost more than just the hair on my head.  I lost body hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes.  Luckily, I didn't lose all of my eyebrows and eyelashes like some people do, so I was able to deal by just using make-up as opposed to having to try and wear false lashes for special occasions.

My hair started to grow back in October, but it has been very slow growing.  I continued to wear scarves until the middle of December when I thought I had enough coverage to go out in public.  The first day I went out without a hat or scarf, I got two compliments on my hair.  Instead of explaining my situation, I found it much easier to just say thank you and move on. 

The new chemo regimen I am on now doesn't cause hair loss, but it can be known to cause hair thinning, which might explain why my hair seems to be growing at a snail's pace (or maybe I am just impatient).  Even though getting ready in the morning has been much quicker without hair (or with very short hair), I am looking forward to having my old hair back again!